Finally a post...

... that lives up to the name of this blog. 

~~~

So.... It's 2:33 AM as I start to type this. We shall see just how long it takes me to get this all out... 

Okay. So. My Friday night, started with swing dancing lessons/club. So much fun. Then an adventure to drug mart to look for speakers then ending up buying movies. Then we went to craft night, and painted bricks. Yes. Bricks. Mine looks so funny haha, I tried to make the plaid pattern of Wooster. So great.  So my night really started when I went to the gazebo in the center of Wooster with Cullen, Collin, Andrew, Hannah, Tess and Eric. So initally it was going to be just me and Hannah and Cullen and Andrew but somehow Cullen convinced Eric to come and thus Tess who was in his room when Cullen, Andrew and I asked him to come. Needless to say that kinda saddened me.... But then we went dancing. I put on a smile and gave up on being shy as much as I possibly can, or have ever let myself thus far in my life. We set up our speakers and started to dance. Cullen is so much fun hahah, the rest of us just kinda do whatever and don't do too well, Cullen however, has waaayyy too much fun with the whole thing. But eventually Eric and I were dancing. I tried not to freak out, to have fun, to be myself, and I think I succeeded in that. Then somehow we all started to learn to waltz. And somehow I was waltzing with Eric. I was so happy. Happier than I have been all week. I tried my hardest just to soak in the happiness that was flowing in and out of me like oxygen. I never wanted the moment to end. Ever. I didn't want to think about how there are other people on this earth, that miles and miles away is the only place I have ever called home. I just wanted my world to contain the little gazebo in Wooster. A little slice of heaven. There are no words to describe how I felt. Or even still feel. We went back to Mom's and got milkshakes, then we all came back to my room and we watched Water for Elephants, and all I could think was Eric. Did he think the same things about me? Does Tess like him? What is going on there? Do I want to even think about it? God Sarah, of course you don't want to think about it. You like this guy. More than you probably should after just 3 weeks or so. But why? I don't have any answers, just an endless supply of questions. I wish there was a word to describe how I feel right now. The best way I have to say it is as follows, I am a mixture of joy, pain, longing, soreness, confusion, happiness, and anything else that you'd get when combining the joy of liking someone along with the confusion of the exact same thing...

I don't want to do this to myself. I like being single. There is no possibility of pain. Yes I miss out on some joy and happiness in life, but that's the price to pay for the stability and normalcy of single life. 

Just thinking about him brings a smile to my face. I really want to get to know him. I'm just so shy and awkward and me. And me is not normal in any way. And I like that I am odd.

*Sigh*

Whatever. 

Life will go on. 

I will continue on. 

Who knows where I will go and who I will meet along the way. 

But right now, in this moment, I am a mixture of content and confused and happy. 

And I am odd and proud.