All understatements. No word exists to describe what
happened this week. In no way am I unhappy. Quite the opposite, I’ve never felt
this amazing. I feel like I’m finally alive in a strange new way.
Let me tell you a story, the story of Thursday October 11th.
It started out like every other Thursday. Archaeology at 8 AM. But that’s where
the normality ends. Typically I am looking forward to Archaeology because not
only do I usually like that class but I like being with Eric. Well the first
thing I thought when I saw Eric that fateful Thursday was, “I don’t like him
anymore.” No forethought. Just bam! Nope. Don’t feel it. I of course shook it
off and continued with my day. Went to breakfast with Eric like normal, went
back to Compton (our hall) and did laundry together, did some homework in the
basement together. And this whole time I cannot shake this whole feeling that
it’s not the same for me anymore… I then went to lunch with Colin and we hung
out and talked and such, but on the way to lunch I ran into Ellen, Joyce and
Matt. Joyce, being one of my confidants, said I should talk to Matt, and so
Matt and I agreed to talk, we had hung out before, we share a large number of
friends. So after lunch I text Matt to hang out and talk so he comes to my room
and we walk to Wagner (his hall) and get his ID so we can get some smoothies at
Mom’s. While at Mom’s he buys me a smoothie, which was beyond kind. Especially because
he didn’t say anything, he just got it for me. So we walk back to his hall and
head to the basement and we start to talk. He guesses everything about Eric, he
even can tell that I’m upset/sick of something in regards to that which I was.
Then somehow he managed to get me to tell him that I also have had feelings of
attraction for two other guys, but I didn’t act on them because I was focused
on Eric. He knew who the 2nd guy was, my best guy friend Colin (whom I do not
like that way now that I know him better), but he didn’t really ask about the
third guy, (you should know that the third guy is Matt himself.) At this point
Matt’s twin James shows up followed by Ellen and Joyce, and this put an end to
Matt and I talking. After some pool playing and hanging out I leave to try to
get some work done, after an hour or so I wander back over to Wagner and hang
out with all my friends in the lobby. Matt happens to be there and I happen to
sit next to him. Everyone else is doing homework so I am just sitting there
enjoying not being alone, and Matt nudges me and has typed on his computer, “You
bored?” I nod and he types, “Give me half an hour and we can go do something.”
So thirty minutes later, we leave together and take a walk around the campus.
We walked for a really long time. In places I have never walked before either,
which is saying something, because Wooster is not the biggest place. Eventually
Matt gets so cold we go inside Lowry the student center. We find a couch and
start talking and for some reason Matt mentions how cold he always is and I
grab his hands and he freaks out at how warm my hands are. (I’ve always been a
human heater, no matter how cold I am, I always feel warm to other people.) At
this point we decide to go watch a movie, so we head back to my room and pick
up my laptop. We head over to Wagner, intending to watch the movie there, but
upon our arrival we both realize there are way too many people there. We agree
to go back to my room, but Matt had to grab a few things from his room so I
hung out in the lobby with our friends. The whole time Matt isn’t there with me
Ellen is giving me the whole, “WHAT IS GOING ON HERE SARAH!?!?!?!” look. LOL.
So Matt comes back and we leave Wagner and I swear that every one of our friends
watched us leave, and the moment the door shut we both laughed and said that
they would all be talking about it now, (and they totally did). So on the short
walk back to Compton, I tell Matt how I really felt about the whole Eric
situation, and that I was really starting to like option 3. He smiled and did
the adorable shoulder to should nudge and said he knew who option 3 was. We
then went into my room and Hannah graciously let us use the futon aka “the
couch”. We settle down to watch Salt, starting out with us just sitting there
sharing the two blankets. As the movie progressed so did our position. We got
closer and he put his arm around me and our hands found each other. His hand
ran up and down my arm and I curled up against his chest. Before I knew it the
movie was over and I didn’t want to move or even think about moving. I turned
my head up to meet his eyes and we were kissing. I’ll spare the details but in
plain terms we made out on the couch for a while before we both got
uncomfortable and I moved us to my bed. After some serious making out I asked
him to stay the night with me. He agreed with a kiss and we fell asleep together.
We didn’t sleep for very long, we woke up after an hour or so and made out
again, and in the morning we laid in my bed trying not to giggle too loudly as
Hannah got ready for her class at 9 AM. The moment she was out of the room
though we looked at each other and kissed until we knew we couldn’t hide from
the world anymore. He kissed me goodbye
with a tenderness I have never before experienced. ^/////^
Funny thing is he lost his ID somewhere in our time
together, where we don’t know but we both assume somewhere in my room. So we
walked to our respective classes together and I was left with my mind flashing “HOLY
SHIT” four hours after that. I honestly can say that I would not have minded if
that is all that ever happened, and we never did anything again. And all day I
kept reliving the amazing time I had with him, and I do not mean just the
making out.
As I was packing that day for my fall break in Cleveland
with Hannah, guess who shows up? Yep. Eric. No real warning, just pops in under
the pretense of getting back the skull I had been trying to dray for my art
class. I gave it back to him and he still didn’t leave. At that moment Joyce
showed up, because I had told her I had something I seriously needed to talk
about, so I took her to the lobby and I told her what happened. When we got
back to my room a few minutes later, Eric was STILL there. I continued to pack
and Matt shows up. He looks at me and I couldn’t help but feeling like what we
had won’t be a one night thing. He begins to look for his ID and Hannah and
Joyce help him as I clean and pack. Meanwhile Eric is experiencing all this,
and while he may not be the most normal of teenagers, he isn’t dead. There is
no way he didn’t connect the dots, between Matt, me, the ID card, the searching
all around and in my bed, and the looks Matt and I shared. Eventually Joyce leaves, giving me a, “I am
seriously going Momma Joyce on Matt’s butt later” look. Eric left after her,
and he borrowed some of my art stuff for over break, which I am cool with, he’s
a good friend. So Matt gives me a come with me look and I go to the lobby with
him and he says something along the lines of, “So Sarah. I know you probably
have an idea as to why I asked you to come out here with me. ….Yada-yada…. So
where does that leave us? Well, I don’t know you that well, but I want to hang
out with you more, and see where this goes.” :D Made my day. We talked for a while
after that, and I don’t know how he felt, but other than being super tired, I
didn’t feel like it was at all awkward. So we walked back to my room and before
I entered the open door Matt pulled me aside into a hug and then he kissed me
gently and said goodbye. Needless to say I was happy, and still am.
So I finished packing and Hannah and I headed to the
shuttle, on the way I see Matt and Ellen walking back from the tennis courts. I
know that Ellen knows what happened between Matt and I because I told her, she’s
one of my best friends in Wooster, and I know that means she asked Matt about
it. So I text her as soon as I am on the bus and ask her what Matt told her.
She says that Matt said that he and I are going out but we aren’t and that
really the only way to describe it is as complicated. I like that. Complicated
is better than non-existent.
So on the bus to Cleveland, my phone is freaking out with my
friends asking what the heck is going on and such. When suddenly, out of left
field comes a text from Eric. Mind you, he does NOT text me. I text him and he
responds. But all the sudden he is super talkative. Stupid boys. Too late dude.
Too late.
So that pretty much brings us up to now, 3 AM on Sunday. The
first free moment I have had to vent all this out. Matt is going to see if he
can stop by Hannah’s house (where I am staying) and hang out for a bit today :D
It’s weird but I think we have way more
in common than either of us could have imagined.
I have no idea where our unexpected night will take us, but
I will never regret it, and it will always be one of the best nights of
college.
From Cleveland with love
- <3
I hope that you see
right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home
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